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How We Project Onto Others – Everyone is Yourself Pushed Out

In this article, I want to dive deeper into discussing how others reflect our state of being and how we navigate the world from our inner narratives.

The awareness of who we are being in each moment is the most important insight into understanding how and why our reality is reflecting something back to us. Without this awareness, we may easily fall back into old patterns and cycles- recycling the same types of relationships and experiences. This may cause you to feel like you need to change another person from force and effort without first exploring what is being displayed back to you. However, we are not changing others. As Neville has stated, there is no one to change but self.

Too often, manifestation is tackled from a perspective of separation- a place of reaching, striving and grasping. However, when someone feels the need to approach a relationship or a connection in this manner, it is a compulsion that is lead from their current state of being. The key phrase here is, “feels the need to“.

Self reflect on this- why do you feel the need to tackle manifesting a relationship from a place of grasping? Are you afraid that time is running out? Are you placing your life and happiness on hold, or attaching your happiness and fulfillment to the relationship? Are you not allowing yourself to receive love, in fear that something will go wrong? Maybe you are waiting for the other shoe to drop because you are protecting yourself from getting hurt.

These stories are not random and when we aren’t aware that we are unconsciously accepting them, they can stop us from allowing ourselves to fully persist in the end result. It can keep us from being who we would be without these false identities, and therefore keeps us from embracing who we really are. It can keep us from maintaining and experiencing a beautiful relationship with our person.

Projection [of our own shadow] makes the whole world a replica of our own unknown face.

Carl Jung

Our state takes the lead in everything. It dictates how we operate in the world and how we project our narratives onto people and circumstances. Sometimes we go about the world in a certain state for years without ever realizing that we are doing so. This is because we aren’t aware of the feedback that the world gives us through people and experiences, and so we unconsciously blame others and project our own insecurities onto them. When we are unaware of our state of being, we may go in circles reacting from the same place over and over again. This keeps us on autopilot and it keeps us performing the same habits. It keeps us from realizing that we are filtering our assumptions and perceptions of others from this very state.

This will keep us from evolving and growing. It will keep us from experiencing new relationships and connections with a specific person and with others in general. Most importantly, it keeps us attached to the same identity we have unconsciously accepted for ourselves. We all have a narrative we hold ourselves to, and we all move about the world in a specific manner. Most of them remain unconscious until we are faced with them and they come out of the darkness into the light.

How you view yourself in one area of your life might differ from another, and this is why it sometimes feels more difficult to shift states and manifest when it comes to certain topics. The reasoning is not because something is more difficult, it is simply an autopilot state that you’re unconsciously carrying out.

You may not realize that how you see others, how you interpret what they say/do, how you make assumptions and how you experience connections, are all coming from the identity (state) you are in. And if we are not aware of this, we might find ourselves fighting and arguing with others where we try to convince our way into the relationship.

We can easily get caught up in a push and pull dynamic between ourselves and others. As I have written above, there is a reason that some people do this- sometimes it is a belief that experiencing love is difficult. This in turn may cause you to translate manifestation in a way where you believe you must work hard to fix yourself, the person and the connection.

Becoming self aware starts with being okay with the discomfort that may arise as we self reflect. It is a willingness to allow ourselves to recognize our stories, and to no longer defend them. It is a leap into accepting that we are carrying something that is being played out in our world, without blame or judgement. It is honest and uncritical. It is a complete lifestyle change.

Anger, Hurt and Resentment

There are many masks that the ego wears- one of them being anger. Anger, frustration and resentment are a few of the masks that are often times used as protective or defense mechanisms.

Is there someone in your life that you feel resentful of right now?

When we are unaware that anger and resentment are masks for deeper underlying stories, we might continue to blame the other person. And when we don’t go within to reflect on what parts of ourselves are being triggered, we aren’t only holding them in an unlovely state but, also ourselves. We are keeping the narratives alive.

This looks like playing mind games with your person, questioning whether you should text them or not, or withdrawing yourself from communicating or facing what the reflection is showing you. You might even feel revengeful and purposely do/take actions from a place of lack. Usually the anger is a mask for feeling unloved, unworthy, undeserving etc. And if we are not used to going within, we aren’t aware that we are holding ourselves back from an opportunity to step into a new state of being, and therefore a new reality.

If you are not aware of why you feel a certain way, or why you feel compelled to do certain things- such as checking up on your person on social media- you may feel stuck when you practice embodying the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

I see this a lot in the community, where people have been trying to embody a new state, only to continue to be faced with anger and hurt from what has occurred. How much we hold on to hurtful memories, anger, frustration or resentment depends upon our state. If what the other person has said/done still has a hold on you, or makes you feel a certain way, this is only pointing to the state you are occupying.

Of course, this does not mean we ignore our feelings of anger or allow ourselves to stay in situations that hurt us. It also does not mean we negate or invalidate traumatic experiences. It simply means we use these opportunities to reflect, allow our feelings and stories to flow through us without restriction and recognize the illusion of them. This does not mean they do not matter or that they are unimportant, it means we are most likely letting these stories dictate our state, and therefore how we manifest and experience our desires. It means we are falling for a false sense of others and of ourselves, and accepting false narratives of who we really are.

Are you holding onto anger because it is confirming an insecurity you still have alive within you? Do you feel anger and resentment towards a specific person because they are triggering a story of feeling unloved, unworthy, etc.?

As being one with God/consciousness, how would you observe and be aware of these stories as they arise within you? How would you reassure and validate yourself? What do they really mean, if we are all so much more than our human identities?

Projecting Our Narratives

A common story I hear amongst those manifesting a specific person is, “I think they don’t want to be with me because they are not ready for a relationship” or, “they are taking too long to reply because they are stubborn”. As I have stated above, our perceptions are filtered through our state. When we make these assumptions about others, they are not set in stone, there is no inherent truth to them, and it is completely forgetting that others are reflecting our state. When we aren’t aware that we are reacting from a concept we are holding of ourselves, we will continue to judge solely from the appearance of the 3D world, perpetuating our inner stories.

Self reflect on this. Are you assuming that the other person does not want to be with you because maybe you do not feel ready for the relationship? Are you subconsciously distancing and holding the other person at an arm’s length in fear of being rejected? Often times, people will assume that when someone doesn’t text them back, it means that the other person does not love them or that their manifestation has failed. You might also assume it means that they are still the same person as they were before.

In there is the true assumption- “I am unloved and therefore I am being rejected because they have not texted me back”. You might even start to assume that there is something wrong with you. However, it is not the other person, but our own false self concept. It is our perception of what that means, and when we forget who we really are, we will accept the story that we are someone who can be rejected and who is unloved. These versions of reality will continue to express themselves.

When we assume that another person will judge us, it is most likely a projection from our own fear of being judged. And the more we do this, the more this will continue to be reflected back to us. It is not because the other person assumes this, it is coming from our own assumptions. And the more we continue to occupy these states, others will reflect this back. The more we will continue to experience these types of relationships.

You Are Good Enough As You Are to Experience the Relationship You Desire

It’s easy to fall into the trap that there may be a lot to heal and fix about yourself before experiencing your desired relationship. However, being aware that we are accepting stories that are not of the truth of who we really are, helps us to expand beyond a third-dimensional perspective. Relationships are beautiful, and they are vital in revealing our own unconscious expressions- whether it is a romantic relationship or not. They are there for us to experience and for us to recognize our states. We aren’t fixing or changing anything about ourselves or others, we are surrendering what is false. We are relieving ourselves from the expectations we impose upon ourselves, and allowing ourselves to feel loved not based on what another person says/does, but because of who we really are to the core.

This allowance helps us to maintain a fulfilled, healthy and committed relationship. It stops us from going in circles and it breaks us out of unconscious patterns. Things manifest much more effortlessly when we no longer run away from ourselves.

This does not mean you are not allowed to desire something or someone, of course you are! And it is completely valid. You already know, creation is finished. It isn’t a question of whether you can experience your desired relationship or not, but more of how you approach it, and whether you accept and transcend what the process reveals.

Being aware of our inner stories is not about judging, condemning or fixing ourselves but about remembering who we truly are without the false identities and facades.

I hope you guys gained insight from this article, and I would love to keep expanding more on what I have written in future articles and videos. <3

About Author

Jennifer is a freelance writer currently working on her first fiction novel. Living in the labyrinth of New York City, she has learnt to use the Law in every aspect of her life to awaken the Godself within her. Her aim is to spread this beautiful knowledge to others so they may also find peace and love within.

16 Comments

  • Dhanashree
    January 9, 2022 at 4:36 AM

    Remembering who you really are is realizing or remembering this that I am god of my reality/universe and everything I desire already exists. Right?

    Reply
  • M
    January 9, 2022 at 5:08 AM

    Always on time!
    So I am going to share my experience from a slightly different angle in the hope of helping anyone that might need it…
    What I have been experiencing is not so much “blaming” anyone or being angry at anyone because I do know that everyone and everything is me pushed out.
    What happens to me is that I am fully aware of the unlovely stories/states I had identified with, namely fear of rejection/separation/abandonment and especially fear of failure..
    However if something in the 3D triggers any of those states, I fall into “I am doing something wrong” in other words I am failing because I am the only cause… which in turn can trigger the feeling of having to do something to fix my state/shift/change/trust/believe…
    And one of my triggers is the time it is taking my manifestation to come to pass especially when comparing myself to “others” which definitely makes me fall into the illusion that I am failing at this… despite knowing that God cannot fail, and only love is real and my desires are a promise!
    My current way out of dealing with this is: I am already perfect, while and complete! There is nothing more to do! There is nothing more to learn! It’s already done! It’s all taken care of!

    Reply
    • Dhanashree
      January 9, 2022 at 9:28 AM

      I too face this a lot these days. Thank you for the tip…

      Reply
    • Harunah
      January 10, 2022 at 12:08 AM

      I can relate to this. Thanks for sharing.

      Great article as always, Jen. You’re the best

      Reply
  • Anonymous
    January 9, 2022 at 8:29 PM

    So do you advise we send our SP loving messages and just “be ourself” with them regardless of how or whether or not they respond? I have made many efforts …. it was quiet but I still have faith I will hear back… but do I continue reaching out or allow him to contact me? I do it whenever I feel filled with love … I send a note from me …. I am such a loving person it’s so weird for me to keep at a distance…. but I get confused with “allow the manifestation to come to me” vs. reach out and be me….

    Reply
  • H
    January 10, 2022 at 12:26 AM

    Hi,
    My 2 cents? Live in the end, and by that I mean this; In your imagination, know that it is done. Whenever you think about them, go back to your imagination and create beautiful and fun scenes that remind you it is done. Whenever something triggers you, go back to your imagination and see good images of you together. Enjoy that feeling and persist in it

    Reply
  • Ann
    January 11, 2022 at 5:12 PM

    I have trouble understanding everyone is you pushed out (EIYPO) with regard to children and abuse.

    For example, how does EIYPO explain a child experiencing sexual abuse when that child does not yet understand what sex is? What state is that child in that leads to abuse? How do babies and children find themselves in a state that manifests abuse? How is the child benefiting from the abuse?

    My logical mind just can’t seem to accept EIYPO with regard to babies/children and I feel that is holding me back.

    What should I tell myself with regard to children and EIYPO?

    Reply
    • Wiktoria
      February 1, 2022 at 2:49 AM

      I really hope to have a respond to that. I’ve been in this situation and honestly can’t understand this; it’s so hard to forgive

      Reply
  • LunaV
    February 3, 2022 at 8:34 PM
    • Ann
      February 6, 2022 at 6:40 PM

      Thanks for the article, Lunav.
      It was very helpful and I could relate to so much of it.

      For a long time I was into Law of Attraction, which says that specific thoughts become our reality. But as I study Neville Goddard’s teachings more, I am understanding (hopefully correctly), that it is our assumptions and beliefs about life that matter, not just thoughts. When we are in a state because of our assumptions, various experiences can occur in that state even though they did not exist in our thoughts. So that would explain how a child who feels unloved, unprotected, fearful and unworthy can be sexually abused even though the child had no thoughts of sexual abuse?

      So EIYPO even when our assumptions are programmed into us as children.
      That is not really free will, is it?

      I want to find the peace and power that others here have found so I now fully accept that we always create our reality, even when we are not conscious of it.

      Reply
      • LunaV
        February 17, 2022 at 6:10 PM

        Hi Ann, Your assumptions, conscious or unconscious direct all thought and action to their fulfilment. Free will is another illusion as it is the law of assumption where all action is based. For example taking ‘free will’ action to earn money when you feel poor or manifest a relationship when you feel alone is contradictory and the results will not be satisfactory. To understand the law of assumption, you need to be convinced of its truth, which means getting rid of all the illusions including free will to act.
        Free will actually means freedom to select any idea, desire, assumption. Once you have made that choice then the law of assumption directs everything to its end which is where free will ends.
        For example if you assume you are wanted and loved as opposed to a contradictory state from childhood, then the law of assumption has automatically fulfilled all action and thoughts to that end. You go through the bridges of incident and dying to the old man(self) to that end. The fears and doubts that arise from that assumption are to be expected and are not bad as it is your old self (concept) dying and there is an excellent podcast on how to cope when those painful events might arise. If you observe them rather than react then you will be left with the peace and love you desire. https://www.iam-love.co/2020/02/19/dissolving-fears-to-manifest-effortlessly-podcast/
        Neville says that we only see the contents of our own consciousness in the 3D world, therefore if you are seeing pain in other people, then you absolutely can use your free will to assume a better outcome for them since they are ourselves pushed out. https://www.iam-love.co/2019/10/03/imagining-for-others-no-friend-of-mine-suffers/
        Ultimately it comes down to not what we do, but who we are. Always come back to the state of being. Hope that helps.

        Reply
        • Prashant Kumar
          November 11, 2022 at 7:24 AM

          You are the best.

          Reply
  • Annie
    March 8, 2022 at 4:43 PM

    I just started reading these articles and I am falling in love with them. I listen to your podcasts constantly but now I feel like I can dive deeper and do more inner work on myself with theses articles and I couldn’t be more grateful. Thank you!!!!

    Reply
  • Ashanti
    March 8, 2022 at 8:57 PM

    Love this article

    Reply
  • Peter Marks
    March 12, 2022 at 8:44 PM

    I found peace and serenity within by making the choice to change by and for myself and for all other human beings with whom I come in contact. I could love myself and others by forgiving all others past and present and having no hatred toward anyone and allowing only love to flow. Each person is precious and important, and all people have the potential to develop into more perfected human beings. People can outgrow ignorance and irrationality and see things as they really are. Hatred, anger, spite, and jealousy can be replaced by love, patience, generosity, and kindness. One must make the effort, guided and supported by other human beings. Each person is able to teach others how to be a more perfect human being by promoting humanity and loving all human beings and life on this planet. Each person can find a path to peace and serenity within whenever the chaos of the world is taking place. People can ignore ignorance and choose instead to have peace within. When others are complaining of the chaos I am at peace and have no complaints because I am alive and am a human being walking this spaceship of the cosmos, we call EARTH. Who am I? I am LOVE.

    Reply
  • Coco
    March 22, 2024 at 5:18 AM

    How can i have high self concept when something happened to my face and I have now become ugly and he has not seen me since this happened?
    So I do feel unlovable, not worthy of love, that no man including him could love me, that he deserves a woman who is young and pretty. Every man wants a pretty woman afterall.
    So maybe I do subconsciously keep at arms distance to not be rejected and told her doesn’t want me because I am now ugly. I have tried all the self concept stuff like goddess meditations, subliminals etc but it’s not working because I find it impossible to feel/conceptualise myself as a goddess when my face has become a saggy turd and I can’t even take a photo of myself because I now look so saggy/weird.

    Reply

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