Just a reminder for those going through the holiday blues❤️
I remember when the holidays were a source of stress for me. I placed high expectations on myself to do every single festive thing and to have all of my desires.
Even to the point of feeling left out and stopping myself from being present and just enjoying what I could do in that moment, because it wasn’t “perfect” enough for me.
Eventually I realized that the more I placed my happiness on hold, the more I was keeping my desires at a distance.
So I decided to trust that each year would get better, and release the pressure I placed on myself.
I stopped assuming that things needed to be a certain way for me to feel fulfilled and to be happy during the holidays, and instead gave myself the happiness and fulfillment I desired by practicing a lot of self love.
Then, things started to shift as I was able to create space within myself to trust I would experience my desires💖
Discomfort through shifting states is a call to understand our True Self more and therefore a call to embrace the oneness with our desires.
But, don’t mistake the call to leave comfort states to mean we will never feel pain or discomfort again.
Love is an embracing of all facets of consciousness, and the aim isn’t to feel perfect all of the time, or to never react or make mistakes.
It simply is- it just is.
And it doesn’t need to be anything more than that.
It’s really the ego that wants to analyze and conceptualize, but awareness is simply being and allowing.
I find that another reason we may hold onto our comfort states is because allowing feels like a loss of control.
And when the ego is busy conceptualizing (although this is helpful in many instances too and doesn’t need to be completely demonized), it’s hard to realize we are trying to hold onto a state that feels safe. @jenniferramdeo
Beginning your journey to manifesting a secure relationship can feel unnatural and far away if you’ve never experienced it before.
We’re so used to assuming that love is obsessing, chasing, playing mind games etc., that when we dip our toes into this new being-ness it can feel really off.
For me, it felt unsafe to trust and accept that I could experience a secure relationship.
Nevertheless, knowing Neville Goddard’s teachings, I knew that the more I embodied this person, which included being mindful of my inner critic and changing the assumptions I accepted for myself, things would shift on its own even if there seemed to be no way out of that state at the time.
The clarity I needed came to my awareness as I continued to show up each day and refused to settle for less.
And that’s the beauty of practicing our new identities, is the knowing that the states we desire already exist in the vastness of consciousness.
Instead of forcing yourself to embody being someone that knows they can experience a secure relationship, remember that, that identity already exists for you.
Remember that what you‘re currently feeling and experience isn’t far off from that being, and is really just an opportunity to lean into this further.
If you see your current identity as an issue, then it will feel like you’re far away from a secure relationship.
If you’re used to being in chaotic, insecure and unhealthy relationship dynamics, it may feel unnatural to accept that you can have a relationship that is healthy.
And when it feels unnatural, you may feel compelled to focus on what is going wrong, expecting the worse outcome, analyzing your person etc.
Because chaos might feel more like home than security and stability.
If embodying the identify of having a secure relationship feels unnatural, that’s completely okay and normal at first.
The feeling of home has to come from the love of who you truly are.
And embodying love doesn’t mean we no longer feel any of the insecurities that have caused us to accept chaotic relationships, but moreso that we lovingly hold space for these fears as we move past our identification with them.
And we continue to remember and recognize who we truly are beyond these unconscious identities.
You may think that embodying love means feeling perfect feelings all of the time and never feeling any insecurities again.
Of course, this isn’t true, but when we are so used to feeling the void and lack, we’ll want to strive for the perfection of feeling whole and complete.
Instead, there should be a balance of accepting all parts of the self💖❤️
At first, you won’t believe or accept any of these new beliefs. And what I’ve learnt through my experience of changing my relationship identity, is that we don’t need to accept or believe anything at first, but a willingness to change.
The willingness to change your entire outlook on relationships and your relationship identity has to be stronger than only receiving surface level shifts from your person.
Instead of asking “why aren’t they doing this yet?”
“regardless of what this person is or isn’t doing right now, how do I want to feel about myself when it comes to love and relationships?
What do I want to believe and accept when it comes to love and relationships?
How do I want to respond to the world when I feel like it is against me and my desires?
How can I cultivate feelings of security and safety within myself instead of seeking for it elsewhere?”.
It’s completely okay if the answers to these questions don’t arise at first.
The more willing we are to shift our perspective, the more clarity comes to our awareness. @jenniferramdeo
I’ve recently had an interesting topic come up with a lovely client of mine on trusting our own inner power.
Growing up in an environment and household where we’ve seen unhealthy power dynamics, ego trips etc., it may cause one to feel like feeling and being powerful is something bad or wrong.
Especially if you’ve ever felt small, overpowered and looked down upon, and the conditions in society we’ve grown up with.
And that could be one reason why many people have a hard time trusting that they themselves are powerful beings, and can exercise and demonstrate our creative power in a loving way, where it doesn’t have to feel like you’re an arrogant person.
Trusting our own inner power goes hand in hand with trusting ourselves.
When you set an intention, do your inner work each day, have off moments etc., do you trust yourself and the work you’ve done?
Do you trust the fact that you are one with God consciousness?
If not, I invite you to reflect on why and I’ve written some self talk statements you can reassure and remind yourself of anytime you feel like you’re not trusting yourself and your power❤️
I’ve always had a belief that the more empowered I feel, and I take care of myself, the better I am able to serve others. Because when we see through our ego stories, a renewed sense of clarity and awareness arises.
In my opinion, there needs to be a healthy balance. And people have to stop shaming themselves and others if they do things differently than they do.
No one has the magical cure, we are all only doing the best we can with our own experience and knowledge.
I have manifested so many wonderful things not by following a strict vigorous routine, but by doing what felt authentic to me each day.
Neville Goddard’s teachings have always been my foundation and always will, but that doesn’t require a strict routine and it doesn’t mean never utilizing any other resource.
For example, if you’re trying to force yourself to have a manifesting routine while your living environment is unhealthy or you’re feeling drained each day, you might assume that by taking certain actions you’re not being spiritual enough.
Of course, this is absolutely false. And only you get to make that decision for yourself!
I have experienced so many pressing circumstances in my 28 years of life- poverty, chronic physical and mental illnesses, abuse, extreme trauma, death, injustice and I can say that it wasn’t easy to go within my imagination. It came with struggle and that’s why I believe it’s important we remember that it’s not a requirement to do what everyone else is doing in order to make shifts in our life.
Have you ever tried to embody the state of the wish fulfilled only to be faced with anger and resentment and hurtful memories?
Sometimes, this is because holding onto the anger and resentment is telling us the foundation we are trying to manifest the relationship from.
Dissolving what’s underneath our anger isn’t for other people, it’s to shift our overall self concept and being.
It’s so that we no longer have to carry unlovely relationship cycles and patterns and insecurities and fears.
Of course, naturally when we release anger and resentment, we open ourselves and our hearts to the idea of knowing we can experience the relationship we desire.
We soften a bit more and are willing to be more vulnerable with our spiritual practices.
This also helps a lot when you’re in the relationship and navigating experiences with your partner, so that you’re not caught in a negative loop all of the time- manifesting hot and cold results.
When we see beyond our own ego masks, we are usually able to see beyond other people’s ego masks too.
This self awareness helps us gain insight on what is being mirrored back to us, and what we need to shift within.
There are many helpful practices that can help us pause and manage our anger better before we react.
Have you ever had anger and resentment come up when trying to embody the state?
Share your experiences below💖
If you need help with dissolving anger and resentment or reflecting on what is behind your anger and resentment, I have coaching sessions available in the link in our bio, to help guide you on your journey to manifesting a healthy relationship💖
Note: This is not a complete list and each person and situation will be different.
Something I see a lot in the community is a teaching to just affirm random affirmations to get another person.
Here’s what I have to ask…
✨ Would you TRULY feel the need to always affirm things for your partner if you were in a beautiful, healthy, long lasting and committed relationship?
✨ Does it sound natural, or effortless and freeing, to feel like you always need to affirm to get another person to love you, to respect you, to pursue you etc.?
I bet the answer is no.
✨ Do you want to get into a relationship always having to do this or do you simply want to exist and have the relationship unfold beautifully while you show up for being you?
And this isn’t to judge people who do this or to put affirmations down, but to help you bring awareness to the fact that there is a much BETTER way of maintaining and experiencing your desired relationship without all of the games you think you need to do to get there.
The best part, you won’t only get text messages here and there. Dates here and there. Just them looking at your Instagram story or liking your photos.
No, you’ll experience the entirety of what a flourishing relationship truly means.
I don’t know about you, but I definitely never liked the idea of having to constantly affirm to maintain my relationship (did that and it helped temporarily but never gave me stability).
What I have outlined in this slide isn’t created by doing affirmations only and occasionally living in the wish fulfilled here and there.
It is a true commitment to yourself. To coming back home to your true self.
Notice where you can begin to shift in these areas and do it for you!
One type of relationship that I always used to experience were the ones where things would go well and then we would break up and not speak for weeks.
And then the usual back and forth 🤦🏻♀️
If you’ve ever been in my position, you know how crappy that feeling is!
It’s an awful cycle to be in, but when I completely changed my entire being and trajectory on relationships, things shifted tremendously!
I used to look at other couples and wonder how I could experience those things and experience that kind of relationship.
I realized that the people who were experiencing a relationship that is healthy and filled with love (no matter what life threw at them), had a certain essence about them.
They carried themselves a certain way and had certain relationship beliefs.
In other words, they were in a different state. A one that seemed so far away from mine at the time, especially coming from someone who grew up being surrounded by unhealthy relationship dynamics!
If you would have asked me a couple of years ago if I believed I could have the relationship I have now, my entire body would’ve tensed and I would’ve been met with hundreds of ego stories.
Now things have completely shifted and that’s because of the commitment I made to myself first.
If you’re experiencing this right now, things truly can shift and change and you’re not tied to the same pattern and cycles.
But embodying your desired relationship goes beyond just practicing the feeling of the wish fulfilled and doing techniques.
Here are some few things to start incorporating in this slide!
Note: of course this isn’t a complete slide and your beliefs and self concept will differ.
If you need help manifesting and experiencing your desired relationship, or even if you’re currently in one and would like to strengthen how you show up and tackle things, I have coaching sessions available in the link in my bio.
If you see a date or time that doesn’t work for you, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org 💖
When I realized that the only reason my ego felt triggered in any given moment was because of a past story coming to the surface, it felt easier to validate them.
It meant I no longer needed to accept every single thought that was arising, nor did I need to rush them away.
Because what I was feeling wasn’t my fault, but simply an old conditioning.
I used to believe that every time I was triggered it meant I was reacting, but this is absolutely false!
Each time you pause and bring awareness to these moments, you’re shifting more and more.
If you need help with step by step practices on how to navigate your triggers so that they feel much easier to handle when they arise, I have coaching sessions available in the link in my bio💖✨
Note: This is not a complete and exhaustive list of what triggers mean and represent. Each person and situation is completely different. Please only refer to this if it resonates with where you are and your needs. ❤️
When you recognize that you’ve made “third parties” mean something for you, and that’s why you hold onto this fear, you will no longer spiral with the identity you’ve unconsciously accepted for yourself.
You will no longer see third parties as an issue or as an obstacle, but as an opportunity to let go of the unconscious stories you’ve accepted for yourself.
And when you shift within and make this all about how you’re seeing yourself and relationships, instead of micromanaging or manipulating the 3D world, things shift and change.
This a very common occurrence on the manifesting, spiritual and self improvement journey.
You’ve begun to do the inner work, you’re practicing showing up differently, and then you’re faced with an unlovely circumstance or unlovely feelings come to the surface.
A lot of the times it’s tempting to the ego to see this as failure or to immediately give in and assume the worse about yourself or your desires.
However, it is in these moments where we need to show up differently the most.
It is in these moments where true change and shifts are made, because it’s easy to persist when everything is going well.
But when you reach deep within yourself and step out of your comfort state, you will learn so much about yourself.
This is where shifts and changes in our realities and in ourselves are made.
There is a lot of power in pausing and going within where it feels like things seem opposite.
Of course, this is only a part of the divine game of life. It is normal and a natural part of the process.
Instead of immediately assuming something unlovely about yourself when things occur, pause and reflect on what this reaction you’re making is telling you about what you are accepting and believing for yourself.
And then choose differently.
Soothe the ego, choose a new story. Choose a new perspective. And of course, you don’t need to feel a positive emotion in order to trust.
If you need help trusting or understanding what’s keeping you back from trusting, I have coaching sessions available in our bio where we can reflect on what’s holding you back and come up with solutions together. And I will be making more content on this!