Everyone Is You Pushed Out / Self-Concept / Specific Person

Breaking the Cycle When Manifesting Relationships

I, like many, discovered the law after a break up nearly two years ago now. I was absolutely desperate to get him back. A random video came up on YouTube one day, called how to get your ex back with the law of attraction. I watched it and then countless others. Long story short, it didn’t solve anything. I spent the next six months watching countless YouTube videos, reading countless articles to try and find the ‘quick fix’. I spent those six months obsessed with getting my ex back, he was all I thought about. Even when (reflecting back) I was very depressed and I thought when I got him back everything would be perfect.

All the things I had read or listened to told me free will existed, if you’ve ‘tried’ to get them back and nothing has worked, move on. I honestly thought I was losing my mind. Even with this frantic behavior, in the back of my mind something would always tell me there was more to this. I sat in my bed one night thinking why am I in this world and there is something more to it than I am seeing. I woke up the next day feeling free and lighter than air. I spent the next few days only thinking about me and why was I here, what is my purpose? I came across the law of assumption then the I AM love website during this time and everything changed for me.

I had a coaching session with Jennifer about a year ago now and my main goal was to get my ex back. After my session I had no doubt he was mine, he messaged me out the blue 3 days later and we hadn’t spoken once since breaking up and that was a year ago at that point. He also messaged 2 weeks later. I started to go back to the old me and started doubting and having a lot of fear though. I was not persisting at all and was constantly looking for evidence. I also did no self-concept work because even then it was all about him to me.

My day would revolve around reading affirmations, seeing no results and feeling like a failure. I would read and repeat countless affirmations, time how long I read them, then think about how my ex was happier with someone else. I couldn’t accept it was as simple as when a desire came upon me it was already mine. A few months went by and I started looking for evidence (again) and I saw something I didn’t want to see- my ex was going to be a dad. I felt like a failure when I saw this. I had spent so long ‘trying’ to get him back and I failed. However, the day after Jennifer and Kriston put out another podcast called “Manifesting Despite Limiting Beliefs” and after listening to it, it clicked in a way it had never before. It wasn’t real. Everything I was looking at was a complete illusion of old thoughts. At that moment I was finally breaking that cycle after over a year and a half of reacting. I was only seeing what I didn’t want because the thoughts were simply purging and I became grateful for them in a way. I felt free of them.

I had another coaching session with Jennifer near the end of last year where we spoke about manifesting in general. It wasn’t focused around my ex but on myself and the other desires I also had in life. At this point I had a few directions I wanted my life to go in, so my focus was not on my ex but more on myself. Fast forward 3/4 months later, and I’m currently in bed next to my boyfriend. Is he my ex that I wanted back so badly? No, however my ex does message me often now. He even apologized to me explaining how he tweeted he was going to be a dad to get a reply from his favorite football team in case I saw it and thought it was real. So, I never failed, I actually rewrote my story with my ex but I also realized that I didn’t want him. I just wanted him back because it was what I knew and was comfortable with. He lives in the country I wanted to move to and I didn’t believe in myself enough to be able to do it alone, so if I was with him everything would be ‘perfect’ and easy.

There’s no ‘quick fix’ to this new way of living. You can’t want someone or something for a second then for the rest of the day affirm it’s not here. The turning point for me was truly understanding everything in front of me was an illusion and old thoughts. You see things differently when you understand this and I get that now. I was scared every single person in my life would leave me and now those thoughts don’t scare me – they have no control over me. 

“Love is our birthright. Love is the fundamental necessity of our life. Do not go seeking for that which you are. Those who go seeking for love only make manifest their own lovelessness and the loveless never find love. Only the loving find love and they never have to seek for it.” 

Neville Goddard

I had spent my entire adult life looking for love out there instead of within myself and when I did, I found love. I love my boyfriend, and I am not scared he will leave. When we have a disagreement, I am not worried he’ll leave me or when his phone goes off it’s another girl. I used to always give 100% to men and when I pushed them away I was always left feeling empty, and thought that I would only feel complete when they come back. As I said, I love my boyfriend, but I also love myself. If my boyfriend woke up tomorrow and said he didn’t want to be with me, I wouldn’t panic. I would simply just need to work on my self-concept a little bit more and I know he’d be back in no time. The love you give yourself truly is different and when you do love yourself you look at life and others differently.

I had a very poor self-concept. I suffered with depression since I was a child and I didn’t have much family growing up. I always felt abandoned throughout my life up until my mid-twenties. I was so comfortable in the victim mode. Whenever a friend of mine was with another friend my first thought was that they wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. I had been with another ex of mine for many years and he woke up one day and said he was done. That was the story I held with guys and it repeated with every single one – literally. That very guy would leave me for someone else. Self-concept truly is the key. I never wanted to work on my self-concept because I just wanted my ex back, but you will just repeat the same story with everyone in your life if you don’t work on your self-concept. For me, when I put myself first and worked on my self-concept, everything else fell into place in a way. I can’t imagine my life now without a wonderful self-concept for myself.

This is only the start of my journey. I don’t know what I want next in life but I know regardless I can have it if I want it. I am beautiful and worthy of life. I am God. I AM love.

About the Author

K A is a psychology student who looked for love in everyone and finally found it in herself. She has since a child felt there was more to life and when discovered the Law has changed her life and hopes to help others change theirs too.


  • Lopamudra jena
    March 16, 2021 at 10:55 PM

    WOW K A!!! Yes it’s always the self concept.Its me always.I am on the same journey, knowing who am I.Believing I am the god of my reality.And no matter what the circumstances are now he is mine and I am married to him.Thank you for your post.It just encouraged me like anything.Yes I am on the right path.❤️

    • The boss
      April 26, 2021 at 2:00 AM

      Thanks but i believe i can manifest my own ex, my SPECIFIC person. I don’t want a new person. It’s always gonna be him no matter how the outside world is telling me to find someone else. That ain’t happening in my reality. I stand my ground and decide that this specific person is mine and decide he’s the one. I think this post is suggesting to go f myself because there’s no hope with the current person and I have to force love myself and find someone else. If it’s a new person then it’s gotta be my specific ex who’s in a new version of what I created and we’re in a healthy relationship. I do love myself. I’m the boss. Periodt.

      • Laura Gillies
        February 4, 2022 at 2:31 PM

        I don’t think the post is suggesting any of that. The person in the artical did manifest her SP back so she is not saying for you to go f yourself. I think she just means that during the time she was manifesting her SP back she developed a greater self-concept and wanted someone new. We can all have whoever it is we want though, orignal SP or someone new!:-)

  • Krissi
    March 17, 2021 at 2:24 AM

    Beautifully written K A.
    I’m happy that you found your truth and the greatest love of all within yourself ?

  • R
    March 17, 2021 at 7:25 AM

    Reasonated so much with this

  • Salma Saadi
    March 17, 2021 at 7:54 AM

    Incredible! Thank you for writing this.

  • Lucky
    March 17, 2021 at 12:47 PM

    Could you please go more into how you worked on your self concept.

    • Bhavna
      March 24, 2021 at 1:54 PM

      Listen to the podcast becoming a master manifestor by Iamlove team. 🙂 It has helped me so much. 🙂

  • Bhavna
    March 17, 2021 at 2:48 PM

    Beautifully portrayed. And yes, it totally resonated with me. ?? Lots of love and blessing to you.

  • Nikita Patel
    March 24, 2021 at 7:44 AM

    I feel like its me who has written this, thank you so much for a great reminder ❤❤

  • NS
    April 8, 2021 at 1:09 AM

    so well written

  • Michael
    May 30, 2021 at 12:15 PM

    Gosh how this story struck me! It is all way too similar to my exact story, even the part about my specific person being from another country that I want to move to. She left me for another person very recently (which brought me back here to iam-love to bring me back and for comfort of my shattered heart and the excruciating pain and emptiness), for the 2nd time after we had got back together after the first. You mention about working on self-concept, and I understand already about loving yourself and making yourself a priority, which is already part of the healing process in getting over a breakup with a loved one. I have been through many breakups in my life, but my desire is without question this specific person, even despite the hurt and pain and whatever else. The first time we had broken up because she had basically emotionally detached from me and found a replacement before ending our relationship, and I spent a few months recovering and focusing on myself, but all while manifesting her back in my life. (It was actually when I first found this website and when I first even learned about Neville and manifestation.) We got back together and everything was like a dream, how amazing it was at first, seemingly all our past problems were forgotten. But now, this second time, it almost feels like a complete duplication of the first, as if history is repeating itself exactly. Except this time, I feel left without any hope for any further chances of ever getting back together again. She seems to believe everything happens for a reason and that she was introduced to her new boyfriend for a reason, as well as our problems reappearing around the same timing, which she feels is some sort of sign that we are not meant to be and that this new boyfriend is the start of some sort of destiny. We continued to speak even after the breakup, and amicably for a few days. However, today, in an effort to preserve my dignity and self value, I told her I think it would be best for both of us, in terms of moving on, if we no longer communicated. To which, she agreed rather casually with basically an okay, that she wished for me happiness and to take care of myself. Even still I want only her, she is the woman I shall spend the rest of my life with, and I believe it isn’t just because we just broke up and that I am still obsessing and holding her on some pedestal, because even after the first time, we had separated and didn’t even communicate and months later I was still certain she was the one, of whom I desire. Anyway, I am rambling now. I am just trying to obtain a better concept of life, myself, the universe, manifestations, God, remembering who I am, and am beginning to have some doubts if my desire for her is somehow misguided. I feel like I am looking for some direction.

  • Mady
    October 15, 2021 at 9:51 AM

    Very nice post…..I can totally relate with everything you wrote, as though I was the person living through those relationship turmoils, fears, etc….Very very happy you have found a new BF and you are now in a good committed relationship…..Best, always…Mady

  • Stefania
    June 3, 2022 at 2:28 PM

    Wow. This post left me speechless. Beautifully written, easy to understand, and just… wow. Thank you.


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