Discovering our true power allows us to create many wonderful experiences for ourselves and I have certainly had fun playing with this but, learning who I really am literally saved my life. I struggled with depression for most of my life, up until about 21, when I reached a breaking point. I was so defeated by the experiences I had unknowingly created for years and I was desperate for any relief. I had manifested wonderful moments but, I also selected horrible ones time and time again. This post is not by any means discouraging anyone struggling with severe issues from seeking the help they feel is necessary for them. Please do what’s best for YOU. This post is simply to share how my life shifted as a result of rediscovering my True Self. If it is helpful to anyone on their journey then I am glad to be a part of it.
My depressive moods and outlooks on life stemmed from long-standing beliefs that life just happened to me. That some people are lucky and some of us are not. That I could try as hard as I could to attain something but, what would it matter if I wasn’t one of the people who was “meant” to have it? That I wasn’t the person who could have, be, or do certain things. Essentially, I believed that I was a victim. I believe that we all start with this as one of our beliefs: that we are victims. My sister asked me about how she and I created some of the experiences we’ve had when we were just children or if we are at fault. I truly believe (my opinion) that this is because one of our very first assumptions in the human experience is that we are victims. We are at the mercy of others to feed us, change us, clothe us, and we are so ready to absorb any notions about ourselves, be they good or bad. But as we progress through this human life, we begin to learn that we have more power within us. And in many different ways, we seek to uncover, use, display and test it. Believing so deeply in our powerlessness can surely lead to very painful moments in life but I believe there is great purpose to our beginnings here. All things exist as a duality, a spectrum. In order to know you are truly the supreme power, you have to believe first that you are a complete victim.
When first learning about Neville and the Truth within us all, I was actually upset. I did not like the thought that I was the one who created my own suffering. But the more I thought about my life in relation to my thoughts, the less I could deny it. Even in situations where I couldn’t remember planting the seeds for such a harvest, I had enough evidence in other areas to give this concept a try. And what did I have to lose when I already didn’t have what I wanted? The important thing I learned here is not to beat yourself up or carry guilt, anger or hatred for yourself or others. Casting blame is unnecessary because whether you believe it is your or someone else’s fault, you have the power to change and fix it. In the same way that it is not a requirement for a fully equipped and capable firefighter to know who started the fire to put it out. You also do not have to spend much time worrying and pondering whose fault it is, or how you created these negative circumstances, when you are fully capable of freeing yourself from them. Start shifting your focus to your preferred outcome continually and away from your current situation. That is all you need to begin your journey.
As I began to truly put these ideas and concepts into practice, to discover if there was any truth, I would definitely see success and change, but I would still find myself reacting heavily to the 3D. I would be so upset that this thing was here or that thing was there. I would see things I didn’t like and I would question myself and the process. But, mostly I would frustratedly wonder why these undesirable situations even existed. I have now reached a place where I have become grateful for my challenges, as they provide me with the opportunity to know for myself, through experience, just who I truly am. Starting from a state of victimization allows us to really learn just what we are capable of. Each time I saw my thoughts reflected or watched the world shift despite all the “obstacles”, I trusted in my True Self more. Sometimes I would fear an undesirable outcome and then I would be wracked with even more fear and anxiety because I had the initial fear. All this focus would result in the fear manifesting and of course I would be upset over this. However, I’ve come to realize that even these moments were in my favor. Many times, the shadow was bigger than the beast. And nothing done to that shadow could harm the beast anyway. Being confronted with my fears in the 3D left me with no choice but to finally overcome them and doing so reminded me that there was never anything to fear to begin with. Allow yourself to release the illusion that these things are greater than you. Without the dark of night, how could we know how bright the sun is as it rises each morning? Without the illusion of lack, how could we know just how abundant and infinite we are? If we aren’t willing to lean on the unseen, how can we discover the hands of Love that have been embracing us all along? And an even more beautiful part of this process, is that viewing the undesirable in this way actually removes the power you’ve given it and helps dissolve it so that peace and love can take it’s place.
Since learning my Truth, I have not struggled with my overwhelming depressive thoughts for over 5 years. I do not need to, as I am aware that none of those beliefs I clung to are true. I do not have to give up on my desires or question if I am one of the people who can have this. I can, and we all can, because that’s what we are here for. We are infinite, powerful and free. I have experienced many amazing shifts in myself and in my life that are so different from who and where I used to be. The journey continues and new parts of myself are brought to my attention, but they no longer cause the agony and defeat they used to. I know them now to be opportunities to rediscover even greater parts of my True Self. And for that I am forever grateful. Persistence, patience, forgiveness, and faith will often be required of you along the way, but I encourage you to try to view the discomforts and struggles with Love. They are leading you to the best of and for you.
Love to all,
I am Love finally recognizing itself in the mirror.